10/31/2k4: TYRANNOSAURUS MEX:

Many moons ago, JREZHS elite zombie hunter Zachary "Carvin" Kervin, upon seeing the chaos and destruction in Boston on the Jim Rage Elite Zombie Hunting Viewing Globe (or JREZHVG), vowed to hunt down and destroy the Thanosaurus-Rex and put an end to its brain-eating ways. Armed only with his bundle of psychoses and a chain and meat cleaver and his cellphone and some water and a extra change of clothes and a picture of his grandfather and a copy of “Sand County Almanac”, Kervin took the train to Boston. Despite the ensuing fights with the conductor, Casey O'Maley, Kervin arrived in Boston only twenty-eight days later. For three days and nights, Kervin tracked the undead thunder-lizard through the cordoned-off streets of Boston, equipped with his keen elite zombie hunter instincts and his Geiger™ counter. Eventually he discovered the beast on Boylston Street, having just devoured a clan of student filmmakers hoping to capture the beast on film, who we can thank for this great photo! The fight has to be the most graphically violent battle in the history of the human race. Kervin fought with the loathsome thing day and night, hacking and slashing with his Shinning Meat-Cleaver of Glory and Liberty. Ultimately, the beast attempted to flee and Kervin gave chase and at times even rode the animal across the country. Despite its titanic size and mindless undead ferocity, the beast managed to evade Kervin at times. After many days of trekking across America in the cars of those friendly-and-yet-so-naive-people-who-pick-up-hitchhikers, Kervin finally located the monster. In Mexico. The battle in Mexico city was quite a rumble. Forty-seven deputized zombie hunters were either devoured or zombified by the dinosaur's field of radiation, and Kervin's meat cleaver snapped in half after giving into the pressure of the beast's slobbering jaws. To make matters worse, he was also attacked by horde of Aztec zombies. Finally, Kervin managed to use a giant helicopter propeller to sever the thing's spinal cord and reduce the undead Aztecs into something similar to Beefato™. Upon investigating the dinosaur's stomach (in a manner very similar to that performed by Richard Dreyfuss as Hooper in Jaws), his discovered to his horror Alice Thompson's signature screw driver, confirming our speculations that the monster had killed our poor Alice. Although it was a bit relieving because it would’ve be really embarrassing after telling her family and pretty much everyone we knew to find out otherwise. Kervin has taken a solemn vow to find what remains of her body and discover the secret undertakings of the EPA in the area.