12/23/2k5 - Taste the Epic
11/3/2k10 - Judgment Day 10/31/10 - Crappy Halloween
10/29/10- Texas or Bust

10//25/10 -
New Doomiforms

7/4/10 -Appetite 4 Corruption
6/15/2k10 - Out of the Red
2K8 Year In Review
1/1/2k8 - Sorry
2K7 Year In Review
6/15/2k7 -
6/15/2k7 -
Mittster Nice Guy
7/10/2k7 -
6/28/2k7 -
All Your Mitt
6/18/2k7 -
6/15/2k7 - Business Report
4/14/2k7 - Back in the USSA
4/11/2k7 - Federico's
4/10/2k7 - Wild Wild Winfrey
3/14/2k7 - Meet Bruno
2/11/2k7 - Conspiracy

1/7/2k7 - Sacrebleu
2K6 Year In Review
ZA pt12 - To Hell With It
ZA pt11 - The Gameplan
ZA pt10 - Vacation
ZA pt.9 - 1,000,000,000 Served
ZA pt.8 - Really Bad Stuff
ZA pt.7 -Washington
ZA pt.6 - Call of the Mild
ZA pt.5 - Thanosaurus & the Infinity Gauntlet
ZA pt.4 - Mitter of Life & Death
ZA pt.3 - Threes' Company
ZA pt.2 - Bad Stuff
6/6/06 - Lawn Burnt
1/30/2k6– Rie Dyes
1/23/2k6 - Rye Looks for
1/7/2k6-Tales from the Inside pt.2
1/5/2K6 - Cooking up a

2K5 Year In Review
12/25/2k5 - Tales from the Inside
12/11/2k5 - Frank Gritt's Day Off
8/19/2k5 - Un"Baron"able
5/18/2k5 - Justin and the Amazing Techni-colored

5/4/2k5 - Where the deer and the antelop work
3/15/2k5: The Mexican Assignment - Part III
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part II
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part I
2K4 Year In Review
10/31/2k4 - Tyrannosaurus Mex
10/12/2k4 - Alas, Thompson
7/14/2k4 - DesperOttawo
6/16/2k4 - Heroic Boston Globe




































 With tuppence for paper and string, you can have your own set of
wings. With your feet on the ground you�re a bird in flight, with your
fist holding tight to the kill switch of an industrial cement mixer
your using to fill in peoples graves so they don�t come back as
� � � Ben Parazinski felt as high as a kite as he whistled his cement
mixing song. He�d taken his green Subaru Legacy into the shop earlier
afraid that he had a cracked engine block, but it turned out it was
just the thermostat. King Kong was playing at the drive in and it was
a Friday. Ben had been rocking out to the cool tunes of Fresh Air with
Terry Gross, when suddenly someone turned the station to XL92, which
was just getting underway with it�s �Friday Afternoon Blastoff� which
consists of approximately eighteen minutes of inane sound effects. Ben
turned around, somewhat miffed, to find a rather large fellow, not
fat, but you know, �big�. Think John Goodman, dressed in a Zoro
costume, with a gasmask.
� � � �Try this fist to your face, risk free for the next thirty minutes,
and if you don�t like it you can keep the pain as our free gift to
you.� Announced the cloaked figure before delivering a mighty punch to
Ben�s lucky temple. The man then began whipping in on Ben�s face.
� � � Under less jarring circumstances Ben would usually execute a nimble
dodge and come back with a stinging retort, but these were not normal
circumstance and instead Ben shot back with a slurred grunt and a
chipped tooth.
� � � �Teeth bugging you? Visit Gentle Dental �at to
schedule an appointment with a friendly, qualified dentist today!
Mention that I referred you and a get a 15% discount!� Said the mean
the man as he attempted to stuff Ben in the cement mixer.
� � � Ben quickly reached for the controls and dumped himself and the
cement payload onto his assailant. It made a huge mess, but it gave
Ben a chance to get to his feet. He was bleeding, dizzy, confused, and
his best tie was ruined, but he was ready for combat in what would
surly be one of the most earth shattering fights in recorded history.
The man in black rose and then quickly scampered away to a biplane
he�d hidden behind a biplane shaped shrub.
� � � �The Baron rides again!� shouted the apparently named Baron.
� � � Ben hopped into his Subaru, put in his Hocus Pocus tape, and made chase. Although it�s a difficult task to chase an airplane with a car, it should be noted that Subarus have superior handling and they�re four wheel drive system makes them second to non for rural Vermont driving. After a short while it became apparent that the plane was heading straight for our office and it could be assumed that nobody had locked the doors. Ben made it back as fast as possible, but it was too late. The Baron had killed all of our tulips and left coupons for Ben ran inside. The baron was nowhere to be found. Suddenly from behind a stack of zombie awareness bumper sticker boxes
the Baron leapt forth wielding a screw gun with a complete disregard
for proper screw gun handling.
� � � �If I can�t pound it into your head, I�ll drill it in!� Yelled the Baron.
� � � Ben dodged the attack and picked up a nearby circular saw that The Mad Hatter had been using earlier on an arts and crafts project.
� � � �What do you want?� Shouted Ben.
� � � �As if you don�t know.� Returned the Baron. �You �people always think that it�s so nice to drive into town to buy your supplies. Wake up! It�s the 21st centaury. It�s time to start thinking of the global economy. Before this day is through I�m going to see to it that you are ordering stuff off the internet, Mack!� There was an awkward pause
for a second.
� � � �Wait, what? Really?�
� � � �Yeah really.� Said the Baron with an indignant tone. There was
another pause.
� � � �Never! I buy local, because it keeps local business thriving and has
other positive repercussions such as a decreased dependence on
transportation, and is thusly good for the environment. Die!�
� � � The two leapt at each other and were quickly locked in a standoff.
Ben�s circular saw inches from The Baron�s throat. The Baron�s drill
bit whirling with a high pitched squeal as it taunted Ben�s forehead. The Baron�s enormous strength slowly pushed Ben back against a wall. Baxter Black watched intently and would have done something if he hadn�t been on his lunch break. With a heavy sigh Ben realized he didn�t have the strength to push the circular saw into The Baron�s
� � � �I�m putting you out to stud.� Whispered Ben Parazinski as he turned the saw around and used it to chop through the drywall and 2x4s that made up the wall behind him. They toppled through the wall and ended up in the meditation room. Ben raised his weapon high into the air and asked if The Baron had any last words. Just then a midi version of �Vicarious� by Tool was heard. The Baron pulled out a cell phone from his pocket.
� � � �Oh snap, it�s my girl from Boulder! What�s happening babe? No! No
way. Get out.�
� � � �Hey! Excuse me. I was trying to kill you.� Interrupted Ben. The
Baron put his hand over his ear so he couldn�t hear what Ben was
saying. �It�s a little bit rude don�t you think? I think it�s kind of
rude, but maybe I�m old fashioned.� The Baron made one of those �I�ll
be with you �in just a second� hand gestures. Disappointed Ben made
himself a sandwich. Before he could finish however the phone rang. On
the other end was a rather irate Clem Stuart from Clem�s mowing.
� � � �What did I tell you guys about the cement? Didn�t I tell you that
you could get in there today if you just made sure everything was
cleaned up by two o�clock. Didn�t I say that? Who knows? Maybe I said
go spill cement over everything. Make it impossible for me mow this
graveyard. Yeah, maybe that�s what I said, but that doesn�t sound like
something I�d say. You know I changed my schedule around for you guys,
and that�s not easy for me to do. I�ve got a lot of places to be��
Clem continued his tirade as The Baron got up, went to his biplane,
and flew off, leaving behind a sky written note: �U suk!�
� � � Ben sat down to enjoy his sandwich realizing that he�d have to come
in tomorrow to finish up the work he�d fallen behind on today. Ben
clicked the radio onto NPR. Marc Breen was in the middle of giving his
weather report. It was going to rain hard tonight.