NEWS
12/23/2k5 - Taste the Epic
11/3/2k10 - Judgment Day 10/31/10 - Crappy Halloween
10/29/10- Texas or Bust

10//25/10 -
New Doomiforms

7/4/10 -Appetite 4 Corruption
6/15/2k10 - Out of the Red
2K8 Year In Review
1/1/2k8 - Sorry
2K7 Year In Review
6/15/2k7 -
SUPERFINE MOVIE UPDATE
6/15/2k7 -
Mittster Nice Guy
7/10/2k7 -
Makoma
6/28/2k7 -
All Your Mitt
6/18/2k7 -
EXCITING MOVIE UPDATE
6/15/2k7 - Business Report
4/14/2k7 - Back in the USSA
4/11/2k7 - Federico's
4/10/2k7 - Wild Wild Winfrey
3/14/2k7 - Meet Bruno
2/11/2k7 - Conspiracy
Discovered

1/7/2k7 - Sacrebleu
2K6 Year In Review
ZA pt12 - To Hell With It
ZA pt11 - The Gameplan
ZA pt10 - Vacation
ZA pt.9 - 1,000,000,000 Served
ZA pt.8 - Really Bad Stuff
ZA pt.7 -Washington
ZA pt.6 - Call of the Mild
ZA pt.5 - Thanosaurus & the Infinity Gauntlet
ZA pt.4 - Mitter of Life & Death
ZA pt.3 - Threes' Company
ZA pt.2 - Bad Stuff
6/6/06 - Lawn Burnt
1/30/2k6– Rie Dyes
1/23/2k6 - Rye Looks for
Answer
1/7/2k6-Tales from the Inside pt.2
1/5/2K6 - Cooking up a
Mystery

2K5 Year In Review
12/25/2k5 - Tales from the Inside
12/11/2k5 - Frank Gritt's Day Off
8/19/2k5 - Un"Baron"able
5/18/2k5 - Justin and the Amazing Techni-colored
Turncoat

5/4/2k5 - Where the deer and the antelop work
3/15/2k5: The Mexican Assignment - Part III
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part II
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part I
2K4 Year In Review
10/31/2k4 - Tyrannosaurus Mex
10/12/2k4 - Alas, Thompson
7/14/2k4 - DesperOttawo
6/16/2k4 - Heroic Boston Globe
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Joneaux Thomas: Can You Taste the Epic?

By Tony Urbek and Judy Irving, for Brink Magazine

Ten years ago, one would have hardly believed that athletic-wear would become a part of haute couture but, impossibly enough, one newcomer from New England managed to do just that. Known primarily for his enormously successful career as a male model for Bronson Canyon’s line of colognes and body-washes, Joneaux Thomas defied all convention by blending a singular, youthful masculinity with precision movement and coy frivolity. Despite attaining international celebrity-status overnight, Thomas was determined to “not be just another pretty face” and used his newfound fame to usher in a unique line of exercise clothing. The move baffled many and threatened to upset his celebrity status, but Thomas’ gamble paid off. Suddenly unitards were the must-have apparel item of the new millennium and Superego.Org called Thomas “the savior of modern fashion and one hell of a guy.”” But then: disaster. The pressures of his high-society lifestyle, combined with gambling debts and a crumbling economy bought a premature end to Joneaux Inc. Just as this unlikely renegade genius had arrived on the scene, he abruptly vanished from it. But, all things are cyclical in the world of fashion. Many are observing a resurgence of Joneaux products in certain parts of Los Angeles and New York. Thomas himself is currently enjoying a renewed modeling career in Japan. We were fortunate enough to speak with the famous non-conformist, clad in a very nice pair of PranaTM Momentum pants and a reserved, yet ironic, J. CrewTM sweater.

Brink Magazine: Before I really begin, I see that you’re a Prana fan.

Joneaux Thomas: (laughter) Indeed. Prana is wonderful. I applaud their dedication to sustainability and style.

BM: So, what was it that first attracted you to exercise clothing?

JT: I think that its functionality and utility appeals to me. I am above all else a practical man and I have no time for purely decorative apparel. That is not to say, however, that we must wear unexciting clothing while at the gym. The Joneaux brand is all about confidence, energy, and toughness. When you wear a Joneaux shirt, for instance, available for $80.99, you’re saying “I am the master of my body, my clothes, and my future.”

BM: How do you feel about the return of Fitness Chic?

JT: (sighs) I feel it was…inevitable. The bankruptcy of Joneaux Inc. was just a momentary setback. I knew it; we all knew it. The only ones who were confused were those naysayers who were so eager to write me off.

BM: So you feel your critics were being unfair?

JT: They’re cowards and weaklings. I’d like to see them do an eight hour photoshoot!

BM: In the end, which is more personal, you’re clothing line or you modeling career?

JT: An excellent question. No matter what ad campaign I’m working on, I like to think that I lend an undeniable quality. Using my image is a uniquely personal endorsement. My clothing is certainly more direct, though. I have greater control when I’m designing.

BM: Interesting.

JT: Yes, it’s extremely interesting. That’s why I’m so thrilled to be rebuilding my enterprise in Japan. The Japanese understand what I’m saying. They’re so much more receptive than Western consumers.

BM: Any plans to return to acting? I know that the Scorpion’s Pearl is still in development…

JT: Holy crap!

It was at this point that a reeking, decayed man hurled himself through the wall and leaped upon Brink Magazine reporter Tony Urbek, tearing into Urbek’s neck with his oozing jaws. Joneaux Thomas was quick to respond by “calling down the lightning” and smashing open the zombie’s skull to the Persian carpet below. Later, the interview was resumed in Urbek’s hospital room by Brink Magazine reporter Judy Irving

BM: So, do you think Tony will recover?

JT: Well, fortunately this zombie was of the radioactive variety and the alpha particles it was emitting weren’t strong enough to harm Tony. Sadly, I believe his speaking ability will be negatively affected.

BM: Still, thank god you’re a professional zombie hunter!

JT: Yes! And a talented surgeon.

BM: Wow!

JT: Indeed.

BM: Is there anything you can’t do?

JT: (laughter) Well, I can’t wash Tony’s blood out of my sweater, I’ll say that much!

Joneaux Thomas, accompanied by an entourage of Janpanese photographers, then left the scene.