12/23/2k5 - Taste the Epic
11/3/2k10 - Judgment Day 10/31/10 - Crappy Halloween
10/29/10- Texas or Bust

10//25/10 -
New Doomiforms

7/4/10 -Appetite 4 Corruption
6/15/2k10 - Out of the Red
2K8 Year In Review
1/1/2k8 - Sorry
2K7 Year In Review
6/15/2k7 -
6/15/2k7 -
Mittster Nice Guy
7/10/2k7 -
6/28/2k7 -
All Your Mitt
6/18/2k7 -
6/15/2k7 - Business Report
4/14/2k7 - Back in the USSA
4/11/2k7 - Federico's
4/10/2k7 - Wild Wild Winfrey
3/14/2k7 - Meet Bruno
2/11/2k7 - Conspiracy

1/7/2k7 - Sacrebleu
2K6 Year In Review
ZA pt12 - To Hell With It
ZA pt11 - The Gameplan
ZA pt10 - Vacation
ZA pt.9 - 1,000,000,000 Served
ZA pt.8 - Really Bad Stuff
ZA pt.7 -Washington
ZA pt.6 - Call of the Mild
ZA pt.5 - Thanosaurus & the Infinity Gauntlet
ZA pt.4 - Mitter of Life & Death
ZA pt.3 - Threes' Company
ZA pt.2 - Bad Stuff
6/6/06 - Lawn Burnt
1/30/2k6– Rie Dyes
1/23/2k6 - Rye Looks for
1/7/2k6-Tales from the Inside pt.2
1/5/2K6 - Cooking up a

2K5 Year In Review
12/25/2k5 - Tales from the Inside
12/11/2k5 - Frank Gritt's Day Off
8/19/2k5 - Un"Baron"able
5/18/2k5 - Justin and the Amazing Techni-colored

5/4/2k5 - Where the deer and the antelop work
3/15/2k5: The Mexican Assignment - Part III
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part II
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part I
2K4 Year In Review
10/31/2k4 - Tyrannosaurus Mex
10/12/2k4 - Alas, Thompson
7/14/2k4 - DesperOttawo
6/16/2k4 - Heroic Boston Globe




































Hideous Conspiracy Discovered
Turn on your speakers

Or just read it:

 As Plato once told us, “living in a busy, competitive metropolitan city is no easy feat - especially when you can't speak French and you don't have any cash.” Truer words were never spoken, for although the hunters of JREZHS had so far survived the mean streets of Paris without serious injury, things were starting to look grim. The rent was due and the supply of croissants was running dangerously low. It was clearly a choice of starvation or desperate measures, so the hunters had a quick discussion and volunteered Baxter Black for a “psycho-plasmics studies program” at the University of Paris Medical School. Pocketing the three hundred euros, we cried all the way to the bank.
The next day the Mad Hatter paid a visit to the local Stock de Produits Alimentaires Américains hoping to acquire some meat scraps and corn chex cereal, the foundation of a balanced diet. All was without incident until the Mad Hatter paused in the middle of the saturated-fat-novelty-desert aisle. His eyes falling upon a package of Drake's Yodels, he suddenly felt a shudder of fear run down his spine, the kind of shudder of fear that only occurs in instances of extreme Déjà vu. Examining the Yodels closer, the Psychopathic Haberdasher discovered to his shock that the Yodels, tubular cake constructs jammed with vanilla ooze, bore an uncanny resemblance to rival saturated-fat-novelty-desert brand Hostess' HoHos.  This could not be a mere coincidence. There was something sinister at work.
Purchasing the HoHos and Yodels for experimentation purposes, the Mad Hatter went the Jim Rage Emergency Parisian Forensics Lab to do some studies. Sure enough, the molecular structures of the two snack cakes were identical. Now certain that the unpleasant odor in the air was nothing less than the unmistakable scent of evil, the Mad Hatter continued his investigation. His findings were alarming to say the least. Not only were Yodels and HoHos essentially the same, but Hostess' Ding Dongs - hockey puck shaped variants of the Yodel - were exactly the same as Drake's Ring Dings!  Although Drakes and Hostess maintained that they were “business rivals” they were fiendishly distributing the same products in different packaging to create the illusion of competition!
Surrounded by lies and fearing the worst, the Mad Hatter turned to the one man he could trust - namely internationally acclaimed French action star Jean Reno. The Mad hatter soon contacted Reno through use of an expertly coded message incorporating signal flares and sidewalk performance art and soon a meeting place was agreed upon. Entering a deserted parking garage in the dead of night, the Mad Hatter was relived to see Reno emerge from the shadows and approach.
“You're entering dangerous territory old friend,” said Reno. “This conspiracy runs deeper than you could ever imagine. It penetrates the highest levels of government and operates on an international level. The HoHos. The Yodels. That's just the tip of the iceberg.”
The Mad Hatter demanded more information, but Reno refused, explaining that he was being watched and his life would be in danger if he revealed the truth.
“I can't tell you everything, but I can point you in the right direction. Drakes and Hostess are both owned by the Interstate Bakeries Corporation. The Interstate Bakeries Corporation is in turn owned by the Mantron Corporation. They're a secretive bunch at Mantron, but in the past they've done weapons development for the American Military and funded art films for Bjork. Start your search there, but be careful. Their eyes are everywhere.”
The Mad Hatter thanked Reno and prepared to leave. But before he walked away, Reno gave the Mad Hatter a cryptic warning:
“Remember mon ami, be Professional. This is a deadly Mission. Impossible to tell if anyone is telling you the truth. If you talk to anyone, you never saw me. I had been playing Rugby all day with Nikita and giving her a French Kiss in the back seat of my Jaguar. Or I was suffering from Jet Lag after Just Visiting Roseanna's Grave. Just keep your eye on the Rollerball and don't give in to Paranoia, or you'll end up gunned down, bleeding Crimson Rivers and ready to be Flushed Away. These guys are on a Flight from Justice. Like Angels of the Apocalypse. Or Godzilla.”
And with that, he walked away.
What does all this mean for JREZHS? What menacing forces are operating here? Will we ever get back home to the United States? Stay tuned….