TALES FROM THE INSIDE! PART II
-From the personal battle log of Ben Parazynski
1/7/2006
A place like this can really get a guy down.
For the last couple of days, I’ve barely made any progress in reaching the UVM campus (which I presume to be the epicenter of the zombie outbreak). Heck, I still haven’t made my way out of Church Street. The zombies are everywhere. I’ve run out of gas for my chainsaw, and until I can make it to a gas station someplace and brake into the pumps, I’m stuck with my nunchucks for close combat. They’re good, but I’m still going to have to be careful. I’ve set up a temporary H.Q. in the bus station. It took about fifteen hours for me to clean out the bodies and to board up the windows. Fortunately, I can keep an eye on the city by taping into Burlington’s webcams. Ah·this Wonderful Modern Age of Technology.
After observing these zombies, I’ve been baffled by what kind of outbreak occurred here. If my suspicions are correct, there may actually be multiple varieties. In addition to the biohazard zombies lumbering around and gnawing on old femurs, I have witnessed a pack of what were clearly toxic zombies feasting on some fresh bodily remains in the church. Unprepared, and utterly without a hazmat suit, I was forced to make a strategic retreat. However, soon afterwards while stealthily creeping through the air-ducts of the Burlington Free Press, I spied a pale and gaunt voodoo zombie clumsily pawing through old archive files. Only this morning I nearly had my head yanked off by a particularly energetic demonic zombie. Only my quick thinking and a nearby electrical cable saved my hide.
As I mentioned, I’m noticing more and more bodily remains. Mostly just arms and guts, but there’s been a couple of bodies that were too intact for comfort so I had to seal them in QuikDry™ Cement to prevent them from reanimating on me. Anyway, this seems to suggest that there are still living people in Burlington, and the population was not thoroughly zombified after all. But where are they?
It’s difficult to think with “Locomotive Breath” stuck in my head!
I sure hope Jim gives me a raise for this.
