NEWS
12/23/2k5 - Taste the Epic
11/3/2k10 - Judgment Day 10/31/10 - Crappy Halloween
10/29/10- Texas or Bust

10//25/10 -
New Doomiforms

7/4/10 -Appetite 4 Corruption
6/15/2k10 - Out of the Red
2K8 Year In Review
1/1/2k8 - Sorry
2K7 Year In Review
6/15/2k7 -
SUPERFINE MOVIE UPDATE
6/15/2k7 -
Mittster Nice Guy
7/10/2k7 -
Makoma
6/28/2k7 -
All Your Mitt
6/18/2k7 -
EXCITING MOVIE UPDATE
6/15/2k7 - Business Report
4/14/2k7 - Back in the USSA
4/11/2k7 - Federico's
4/10/2k7 - Wild Wild Winfrey
3/14/2k7 - Meet Bruno
2/11/2k7 - Conspiracy
Discovered

1/7/2k7 - Sacrebleu
2K6 Year In Review
ZA pt12 - To Hell With It
ZA pt11 - The Gameplan
ZA pt10 - Vacation
ZA pt.9 - 1,000,000,000 Served
ZA pt.8 - Really Bad Stuff
ZA pt.7 -Washington
ZA pt.6 - Call of the Mild
ZA pt.5 - Thanosaurus & the Infinity Gauntlet
ZA pt.4 - Mitter of Life & Death
ZA pt.3 - Threes' Company
ZA pt.2 - Bad Stuff
6/6/06 - Lawn Burnt
1/30/2k6– Rie Dyes
1/23/2k6 - Rye Looks for
Answer
1/7/2k6-Tales from the Inside pt.2
1/5/2K6 - Cooking up a
Mystery

2K5 Year In Review
12/25/2k5 - Tales from the Inside
12/11/2k5 - Frank Gritt's Day Off
8/19/2k5 - Un"Baron"able
5/18/2k5 - Justin and the Amazing Techni-colored
Turncoat

5/4/2k5 - Where the deer and the antelop work
3/15/2k5: The Mexican Assignment - Part III
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part II
3/15/2k5 - The Mexican
Assignment - Part I
2K4 Year In Review
10/31/2k4 - Tyrannosaurus Mex
10/12/2k4 - Alas, Thompson
7/14/2k4 - DesperOttawo
6/16/2k4 - Heroic Boston Globe
Article

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


The
Gameplan

The small group of zombie exterminators were not ready for some or any amount of football. With only ten possible players Jim Rage’s Elite Football Playing Team would be unable to enter, no matter how many motivational speeches were made because rules are not meant to be broken (not even by the spawns of Satan).
“We don’t have enough players, I guess we’ll just have to forfeit. Sorry.” Announced Mary The Mistress Of Madness to the Cardinal of Death.
“What! Do you know how hard it is to assemble a quality undead football team? We’ve literally gone through hell to get this whole thing together for you guys, but I mean if you can’t appreciate that then that’s fine.” Complained the Cardinal of Death.
The now mostly brain-dead Ben tried to comfort the foul beast. “Well if it’s any conciliation that green lightning thing you do is pretty neat… We are really sorry.”
“Oh no it’s not like we’ve had this idea for a few years now and finally we pull it out, and nobody really values it. Have you even noticed that they’ve got the decapitated head of their former coach as a football?” Responded the Cardinal.
“I noticed that their name is Los Largartos and that means the lizards in Spanish.” Interjected The Mad Hatter.
“Where are the rest of your hunters anyways? I thought you guys were supposed to be organized.” Snapped The Cardinal.
“They’re probably in New England. If you get us back to New England maybe we could round some up for a football game?” Drew proclaimed.
“But this is Death Valley. Death Valley, you get it?”
“This is stupid.” Gripped Peter Fury. “Remember that time we had to fight the love zombies that could only be killed if we hugged them and gave them affection? This is right up there with that.” 
Rick Ironsides added his two cents with his New York style New Hampshire accent. “So how about you make with the Star Trek and beam us back to Malden Mass. There’s a football field there.”
The Cardinal of Death was a bit put off, but eventually agreed. After a somewhat nauseating trip back to the east coast through a portal of pulsating energy, the whole mob sat and waited on the high school football field in Malden, while passersby’s yelled obscenities at them from car windows. Drew made some phone calls to anyone affiliated with JREZHS he could get a hold of because he had picked paper while both Ben and The Mad Hatter had picked scissors which immediately caused them exchanged high fives. Baxter Black passed the time by talking about how much this reminded him of that awful football movie he was an extra in (which is coming to theatres soon and stars The Rock). Zachary “Carvin'” Kervin poked at the ground with a stick. Justin Famous discovered that if you refill a “Double Gulp” at 7 Eleven it only costs a dollar. Rick Ironside continued to chew on the same piece of gum he’d been chewing for eleven years. Ben found a rabbit. Hours passed, but eventually a few more loyal member from Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad arrived on the scene, despite having ducked our phone calls for days. Alice Thompson quickly recounted how she had recently bet some high stakes in Atlantic City and won big, but then foolishly squandered it all on petty expenses instead of investing it. The rest seemed a little groggy from the car ride.
“Now prepare yourselves you so called hunters of the dead. For the greatest challenge you have ever faced.” Declared The Cardinal of Death.
“Football! Yeah Football!!!” Added the severed head.
“But we don’t have any protective gear. We need that in order to play.” Peter Fury shot back.
“Yeah, alright, football!!!” Added the severed head.
“Are you guys serious?” Asked the Cardinal of Death.
“Yeah it’s in the rule book.” Said Justin Famous between sips from his Double Gulp. “It’s also getting kind of dark. Do you wanna just save it for another day?”
Upon hearing this The Cardinal of Death’s head collapsed in on itself from shear irritation. He then turned into a pile of dust like that evil creature does in the beginning of The Dark Crystal. A void opened up into the Necroverse. An old stove which was sitting near the railroad tracks was the first thing to get sucked in. They thought that was a bit odd since it obviously had more mass then anything else around, this was soon forgotten however once they themselves were being sucked in.
While being squeezed through a violet, swirling, wormhole the sound of the ring tone entitled: “clowns” could be heard. The Mad Hatter reached for his phone pretty surprised that his phone got reception between dimensions. A little bit embarrassed and kind of feeling like a jerk The Mad Hatter decided to answer his phone.
“Hello? Yup this is the zombie guy… No it’s the real deal… You’ve got a zombie in your basement? How’d it get in your basement?… Well it’s gonna cost you quite a bit if you want us to come all the way down to Kansas… No we’re not national we cover mostly New England… It’s just one zombie right? Have you read our manual?… You really should, it’s pretty good… No we won’t link to your site… I don’t care if you have a video of a reticulated python eating a pig… Me? No you hang up. No you hang up. Listen buddy you know how many loonies get my number from the site and decide to call me. You have no idea. Hello? Hello? He hung up.”
Eventually everything went dark and quiet. Then things were loud for awhile. Then quiet again.