Zombies are more than annoying; they can pose serious risks to your health and property. Jim Rage's Elite Zombie Hunting Squad's extensive training and advanced technology focus on attacking any zombies already in your home and breaking the zombie deathcycle to help control unwanted invaders in the future.
Before buying or renting a new home always learn it's history.
Remember to install child locks on everything and to never touch anything.
Before handling a cross, pentagram , scimitar blessed by eight armed deity, etc, read the owner's manual.
Always when and where you least expect them.
Airborne or otherwise, a little bacterial, parasitical, or viral infection can cause big problems. Wash your hands!
If you work/live near radioactive substances it's best to have frequent visits to your doctor so you can know whether or not you should be killed.
The threat of mosquito-borne diseases could affect your family and pets. Fleas feed on human blood through small bites in the skin. They can jump from your carpet up to your ankles and calves, and a female flea can produce up to 800 eggs during her lifetime. Ticks carry many serious diseases, including Lyme disease, encephalitis and super death war zombitus type II. They can live for over 500 days without a meal.
It's the law to have a portal zoning permit affixed to the front of your property before installing a gateway to another dimension. Frequent inspections are also important to portal safety.
Be careful whose gold you steal, or whose candy house you eat, or whose feelings you hurt. They might be magic and they may want you or your family to suffer.
Marco the magician may make you laugh when he makes people quack like a duck, but you won't be laughing when he makes them kill!
If you were bitten recently by a strange rotting man on the street, it's best to get it checked out. You may have caught a bad case of zombitus.
If aliens are stealing bodies, living or dead, from your area call the local game warden immediately . Body snatching has a very brief season and is restricted on private property.
That get slim fast email may be just a simple annoyance to you, but open it and your computer could learn to hate you. Computer manufactured nanites could turn you into the perfect cybernetic killing machine.
PARTY!!!!!!!! PARTY! PARTY! PARTY! PARRRRRRRRRRRTAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! PARTY!
Depending on where you live, undead creatures such as Paguks, Vampires, and Ahkiyinni could be a seasonal annoyance.