(A.K.A Infernoids, Nekromites, Hell-in Killers) 

James Ghandi Rage, our esteemed leader, does not feel fear. He has spent decades developing his mind to the peak of human perfection through a combination of secret meditation techniques and psychological conditioning. He has gained near absolute control over his neocognitive responses, maintaining a constant emotional equilibrium. He has faced unimaginable horrors, and conquered them all. 
Jim Rage does not feel fear. The very most that he can experience is strong dislike. 
And Jim Rage strongly dislikes demonic zombies. 
If nothing else can persuade you of the danger posed by these lethal hellspawn, surely the inner feelings of our mighty leader will. Demonic zombies are blood-chilling terrors, so fearsome that the mere sight of one can cause a hardened, battle-tested zombie-hunter to flee screaming from sanity itself, reduced forever to a screaming, shuddering wreck of a human being.  The howls of these grotesque monsters have been known to cause nightmares and terrifying hallucinations – inspiring many a serial killer and shitty metal guitarist.  
The precise origin of demonic zombies is unknown, but appearances have been recorded as early as the high medieval era.  Technically speaking, they are not actually reanimated human corpses, but rather bodies that have possessed by evil spirits from another realm. These tortured souls, driven insane after centuries of excruciating torment at the hands depraved nether-beasts within the twisted confines of the churning Nekroverse, want nothing more than to eat your face.  And they have the equipment to do just that, too. Possessing razor-sharp teeth and claws, demonic zombies can strip the flesh off of an adult buffalo in eight seconds – as proven by Doctor Rajesh Gupta at the Central Ontario Buffalo Testing Facility, June 21st 1982. 
Thankfully, demonic zombies are rare. So rare, that you’d have thought that it was perfectly reasonable idea to schedule the company barbeque on 6/6/2006
Oh cruel, cruel fate. 

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS: Slavering jaws; burning brimstone eyes; beautiful hair. 

HABITAT: Indian burial grounds, haunted cemeteries, evil dungeons. 

KNOWN WEAKNESSES: Demonic zombies can really take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’. Their phenomenal powers of regeneration, coupled with their undead nature, make it possible for them to survive even total dismemberment. Hence, to destroy a demonic zombie, every undead cell, every scrap of zombie flesh, must be completely annihilated. Conventional weapons are useless against demonic zombies, and additional measures must be taken to ensure their destruction. Silver, holy water, and blessed artifacts can kick ass on a spiritual level.  At JREZHS, we’ve found the most effective anti-demonic zombie weapon to be a set of thrice-blessed titanium lawnmower blades, or possibly a weaponized, silver-plated monk, dipped in holy water. Both rare, but effective. 

CONTROL AND CONTAINMENT: Okay, seriously? This is already out of your league. Stop what you’re doing and call JREZHS at once.  Stop reading, walk away from your computer and call us. Now. Right now. Stop what you’re doing and call us. Now. As in now.  


  • Burial Ground Zoning
    Before buying or renting a new home always learn it's history.
  • Incorrect religous artifact operation
    Before handling a cross, pentagram , scimitar blessed by eight armed deity, etc, read the owner's manual.
  • Nazis
    Always when and where you least expect them.
  • Improperly regulated portal to another dimension
    It's the law to have a portal zoning permit affixed to the front of your property before installing a gateway to another dimension. Frequent inspections are also important to portal safety.
  • Witches, lepricons, hun duns, giants, wizards, and gypsies
    Be careful whose gold you steal, or whose candy house you eat, or whose feelings you hurt. They might be magic and they may want you or your family to suffer.
  • Nazis
    Always when and where you least expect them.