PETER FURY

BORN: March 2nd 1984
HEIGHT: 5’ 11’’
WEIGHT: 180lbs
HOMETOWN: Soltan City CA
HIRED: 11/8/2005
WEAPON OF CHOICE: Wrench, crowbar, tire iron
SKILLS: Mathematics, mechanics, funny impersonations
HOBBIES: Road trips, betting, writing music

Peter Fury was a born math teacher. From an early age he would profess his love for mathematics. His father (William Fury) would boast from time to time, “There’s my boy, the math teacher. Look at the cosecants on that equation! Yup he’s going to be one hell of a math teacher.” He got his GED as early as the state of California would permit (age 15) and relocated from his small windswept hometown of Soltan City to Los Angeles. He graduated with top honors from the University of Southern California, in mathematics, and was immediately put to work at a high school in 2004. He made a great teacher, although he hated grading and often wished his students were “all on the same level”. He would impress his pupils with impersonations that he would do of what he thought numbers would be like if they were people. He had already long ago thought of a personality trait for each digit and even a few mathematical notations (Ben Parazynski would later diagnose it as Ordinal Linguistic Personification). After one year of teaching, however, Peter Fury finally realized that math is boring and the thought of spending an entire lifetime teaching it to kids who didn’t want to learn it was entirely melancholy.

         The summer of 2005 spurred on Fury’s first great American road trip, it also inspired his love for bulk grain mixtures, which are a great source of nutrients in a compact form. It was in a Laundromat in Texas that Peter Fury struck up a conversation a man who was cleaning one lone leopard print Speedo. He claimed it was for HAZMAT purposes that it be cleaned separately and away from his home. This man was none other than the famed Steven “Wild West” Winfrey from Undead Removal LTD. Peter Fury had remembered his dad hiring a zombie hunter, at a young age, to remove an almost mummified zombie who’d become entangled in the swing set in the backyard, but he’d never had the chance to talk to a zombie hunter face to face. Wild West informed him that if he was passing through New England he knew an old friend who could put him up for the night. Peter was planning to catch the beautiful leaf season in Vermont in the fall and took the address that Wild West had scrawled down for him. They spent the rest of their time together betting on which stranger’s laundry would be done first.

         Peter Fury saw many amazing sites along his trip and he became quite the mechanic (having to fix up his Honda Civic hatchback on many an occasion). While passing through Lincoln Nebraska Peter Fury came to know the horrify history of Charlie Starkweather (whose buried in the local cemetery). In 1958 Charles Raymond Starkweather went on a road trip killing spree with his girlfriend, Anne Fugate, legitimizing the murders with his philosophy that “dead people are all on the same level”. Peter Fury would take this with him and ponder it often.

         Arriving at his destination (536 Bedlam St. Blue Springs, Vermont) Fury knew he’d found his calling at the head quarters of Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad. Within the first few days of Peter’s visit Rye Crofter died leaving an opening in the company. Fury traded in his Honda Civic thinking he was actually going to receive the “armored motorcycle” that was promised him upon employment. The company, at the time, was faced with an astounding lack of transportation. Peter Fury put his newly acquired mechanic skills to work and is now lovingly known as goggles, for the safety goggles he is often seen wearing in the garage.

He’s still not completely sure if Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad ever had a jet though. We keep telling him that we had one, but he keeps saying “How would you land it? Fuel it? Pilot it? That’s completely ridiculous. I won’t believe it for one second.”