A Brief History of Jim Rage
by:
James Gandhi Rage
Nathan Zuckerman

            I remember not too long ago, or at least that’s the way it seems, reading one of those old Johnny Wanderer comics. Of course back in those days they couldn’t show the blood and guts so the writers always had to come up with creative ways of incapacitating the zombies. In all frankness the whole thing was a bit of a farce. Still there was something in it. A catalyst that would drive me forwards the rest of my life.
            I’d left the children’s home a few years back and was looking to prove to myself that I was fit, strong, and nearly indestructible (as young men are apt to do). I went to bars pretending I was older than I was, smarter than I was. I pretended to be freelance zombie hunter and I was not. It didn’t matter though. I don’t really remember much about my first kill. I know I did it all wrong, but it’s not what sticks out. I remember looking into those vacant eyes and I saw that a zombie truly is something other than human and from than on it was easy. It’s people I’ve always feared most. People think, people brood. Zombies aren’t one fifth as bad as people are. I also remembered they paid me afterwards. Nobody ever wants to give you an advance.
            I always kept moving. From the time I was sixteen to the time I was twenty three, or so, I traveled the south paying my way with various zombie jobs or “jombies” as we called them back then. I never had enough to own a car, or much of anything really, but still the lifestyle attracted others besides myself. I crossed paths more than a few times with Frank Gritt, who was a near legend in Louisiana. We had a mutual friend named Guido Castiglione who did it as more of a hobby. Those years are really Where Jim Rage’s Elite Zombie Hunting Squad took it’s roots.
            I even had the chance once to work alongside my hero Johnny Wanderer outside of DC on a particularly nasty case. Historians and comic lovers alike have debated for decades if he or his fictional counter part came first. Whether or not he was original hardly mattered. The man was 100%. After our day’s work was done he told me that I could spend my whole life bopping a few zombies on the head time and again with my katakana or I could really do something about it. That’s when I decided to take some time off and go to college.
            That was one of my first encounters with bureaucratic red tape and we haven’t gotten along since. They wanted my birth certificate at the admissions office, but I’d been born at home right after my Dad went off to fight in the Pacific so I’d never gotten a birth certificate. I had to go down to the courthouse to get it all straightened out and there was a line there on the form that said “Middle Name”. I didn’t have any middle name that I knew of, so I put “Gandhi”. I can’t really say why. It seems a little self serving now to hold myself up to one of the world’s greatest minds ever, but I needed to put something…

Unfortunately due to the writer of this article being hit by a car as he was bringing it to the publisher we have no further information at this time and Jim doesn’t feel like going through the trouble of getting another biographer.